dear occupy protesters,
i am officially over you. i tried to get on board with your message. seriously, i really did. okay, so maybe i was never going to end up living in some random tent in the middle of the city with no running water or electricity while a bunch of dirty hippies smoked weed and played hacky sack before forming a drum circle and jamming on their djembes for three hours straight. yeah, i was probably never going to get to that level. but you claimed that you were the 99 percent, and i figured that hey, chances are pretty good that i’m in that 99 percent too. so i tried to listen to your message and hear what you were protesting. i tried to understand what it was that you were demanding and who you were demanding it from. but… i never figured it out. and i still haven’t.
i’ve heard that you are protesting the banks. okay, sounds good. i hate atm fees too. but wait… i also hear you’re protesting the government. okay, yeah… i don’t like politics. that’s cool. wait, now you’re also protesting the education system. alright, well, i went to a UC, i know what it’s like. and you’re also protesting starbucks and wal-mart. wait… and now you want to tax rich people. but what does “rich” really mean? and of course, you’re protesting unemployment, but instead of actively looking for a job, you’re whining about not having a job. and who exactly are you leveling your complaints at? how do you plan on bringing change? WHAT are you going to change? WHO is going to change it? anyone? anyone?
but let’s not focus on this lack of focus. there’s another big problem with occupy. i keep hearing all this stuff about peaceful protests, but too often, i haven’t seen anything resembling a peaceful protest. anytime there’s any kind of march, there’s a high probability of things get out of hand. some of your fellow protesters seem to believe that anarchy is the answer. so they start breaking windows and stealing stuff. they start flipping cars and setting fire in the middle of the streets. you would have thought the lakers just won the nba title or something. so then the police have to come in, use the gas, and start cracking skulls. and then occupiers get hurt, cry foul, and can’t understand why the police officers are being so mean.
now look, i understand that most of the protesters don’t want to get violent. many of them try to stop a lot of those people who get out of hand, and i find that very commendable. unfortunately, this is really kind of like that classic chris rock bit about the two different kinds of black people. but anytime things get angry, that’s when it gets real. and i have bad news, occupiers: any level-headed person is going to look at that situation and take the side of the group that’s not causing mass destruction. they don’t care if it’s not REALLY your fault. like chris rock said, there’s always someone who’s effing it up for everyone else.
to wrap it up, i’m not saying you’re necessarily wrong. there’s a lot of stuff in this country that’s messed up. but if you want people to take you seriously, occupiers, it’s about time you figure out what exactly you’re going to do to fix it.
