May 11, 2012
May 4, 2012
justice served
citation dismissed, suckas.
as happy as i am, i have to discuss the extra measures i had to take in order to ensure this victory. two days after receiving my ticket, i mailed in my request for administrative review and all other necessary materials to the appropriate address as directed. after nearly three weeks of hearing nothing back, i called the citation office to check on the status of my ticket. surprise, surprise: the citation office had no record of any administrative review request for my ticket and as far as they were concerned, i was still on the hook for $43.00.
i was then told that i could fax in my administrative review if i wanted to have it read in a timely manner. wait a minute, was this an option all along? i didn’t recall there being a fax number on the citation office website… well the reason i didn’t remember it is because it’s not there: the fax number is conveniently nowhere to be found. come on, guys. you’re not even giving people a chance? seriously, the parking enforcement division of a police force is more corrupt than denzel washington in training day.
anyway, long story short, i jumped through all the hoops the city of berkeley wanted, played their absurd game of cat and mouse, found a way around all their obstacles, and came out the victor. good will always triumph.
April 9, 2012
fight the power
i got a parking ticket in berkeley on saturday. now, i know whenever someone gets a parking ticket, they get super incredulous and claim, “it’s not my fault!” so let me tell you right now that this ticket… is not my fault.
no, seriously. it’s not.
i won’t bore you with the details (okay that’s a lie, i’m actually going to do that in just a minute), but basically the parking ticket was given incorrectly. the main reason i’m documenting all of this here is because i’m going to try and fight this $43.00 ticket and try and win one for everyone who has ever gotten a parking ticket under faulty circumstances. or, you know, got a ticket for actually deserving a ticket.
now i’ll be real with you: i don’t think i’ll ever have a better opportunity to fight a ticket and win. i have the appropriate documents and evidence, and the only real error that was made was by the officer giving me the ticket. at the same time, i have my doubts that i’ll actually be able to get this overturned. these guys will always come up with some b.s. reason why you’re still wrong and squeeze you for your money. you know how in movies, the corrupt cops are always working in homicide or narcotics? i think most of them are actually in the parking enforcement division.
anyway, as part of the administrative review process, i’ve written up a full explanation of what happened that i’m sending along to the review board. i’ve included it at the end of this post so you can understand what exactly happened. you’ll clearly see that i am clear of any wrong doing. or you’ll think i’m stupid and should just pay up.
stay tuned…
To Whom it May Concern:
This is a request for an administrative review of my parking citation (no. 560406936) given on April 7, 2012 in the city of Berkeley, CA.
The citation was given at 11:44 AM for an expired pay station violation and cited my expired parking receipt (no. 01051140). However, that parking receipt was purchased from a previous parking station on Addison Street. I have attached that parking receipt, and please note that it was purchased from station ADDI2003. After I had departed Addison Street, I later parked on Bancroft Avenue and purchased a new parking receipt (no. 00948930). I have also attached that receipt, and please note that it was purchased from station BAN24-04. The Bancroft receipt was purchased at 11:37 AM and was valid through 12:13 PM, which would encompass the time that my parking citation was administered at 11:44 AM.
On the parking receipt, the directions instruct the driver to place the ticket on the “street side” of the dashboard. I did this on both occasions. When parked on Addison Street, I placed receipt 01051140 on the driver’s side of the dashboard as this street is a two-way street, and thus, is naturally the “street side.” On Bancroft Avenue, however, I placed parking receipt 00948930 on the passenger side of the dashboard because Bancroft Avenue is a one-way street, and I had parked on the left side of the street. Thus, the driver’s side would be on the sidewalk, while the “street side” would be on the passenger side. As further evidence of this, please see that the officer noted on the citation that the ticket was given “next to 2440 Bancroft Avenue” which is, in fact, on the left side of the one-way street.
It is my belief that the officer saw my receipt from Addison Street that was still on the driver’s side of the dashboard, and gave me a citation without seeing my valid receipt that had been purchased on Bancroft Avenue. Furthermore, the Bancroft receipt had been properly placed on the correct side of the dashboard as instructed. As such, I do not believe I deserve this citation. I apologize for any confusion, but I followed all directions appropriately and properly purchased all of the necessary time for my parking.
Enclosed:
1. Parking receipt no. 01051140 purchased from pay station ADDI2003 on Addison Street, valid from 9:56 AM to 11:26 AM on April 7, 2012.
2. Parking receipt no. 00948930 purchased from pay station BAN24-04 on Bancroft Avenue, valid from 11:37 AM to 12:13 PM on April 7, 2012.
3. Parking citation no. 560406936 administered next to 2440 Bancroft Avenue for an expired pay station violation at 11:44 AM on April 7, 2012.
March 19, 2012
rise up
i finally watched rise of the planet of the apes last night. definitely a good movie and one i highly recommend. but let me warn you in advance, when you’re finished with it, you’ll be feeling extremely paranoid of all monkeys, apes, gorillas, and whatever other primates there are in the world. however, i’m not going to focus on that. instead, let me focus on two points of this movie that significantly stood out to me. okay, second warning, this next part will contain spoilers, so come back later if you don’t want to know that the apes take over the planet.
first, if you’ve seen any of the older planet of the apes movies, you know that humans are basically slaves to the apes. in those movies, the monkeys are all terrible people… er, apes… and we have to unmercifully destroy them. all of them. but in ROTPOTA, part of you is actually rooting for the apes to win. i was kind of uncomfortable with this because, as a human, what i was basically doing was hoping that the apes would win and eventually make me their slave. very conflicting feelings.
second, let me point out either the biggest plot hole in this movie, or the single reason why apes really will take over this planet. you know how the first virus that james franco tests on the monkey (and later his dad) was a vaccine? this makes sense because how else would one be expected to administer this kind of medication. but the second time, they create a freaking gas which they then give to the test monkey through a mask. okay, time out. why in the hell would this be the way you want to administer a drug that could be potentially deadly, and on top of that, would be super easy to administer en masse if placed in the wrong hands? oh wait, that actually happens in the movie. not only do humans die from the gas, but caesar basically sprays huge numbers of monkeys with more gas than the oakland police use against an occupy protest, thus resulting in the apes becoming super smart and all the more ready to wipe out the human race.
now this could be a huge plot hole because, although i’m not a doctor, i’m not sure if you could actually cure a disease like alzheimer’s with a gas, and not a vaccine. but even if you can, it’s probably not advisable, namely for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph. all that said, this part of the movie could actually be proof of how stupid humans really are, and pretty much show why we really will be taken over at some point. as phil dunphy once said, “our hubris will be our undoing.” whether that means apes or former governors of california, we had better keep our guard up.
January 12, 2012
November 16, 2011
occupy this
dear occupy protesters,
i am officially over you. i tried to get on board with your message. seriously, i really did. okay, so maybe i was never going to end up living in some random tent in the middle of the city with no running water or electricity while a bunch of dirty hippies smoked weed and played hacky sack before forming a drum circle and jamming on their djembes for three hours straight. yeah, i was probably never going to get to that level. but you claimed that you were the 99 percent, and i figured that hey, chances are pretty good that i’m in that 99 percent too. so i tried to listen to your message and hear what you were protesting. i tried to understand what it was that you were demanding and who you were demanding it from. but… i never figured it out. and i still haven’t.
i’ve heard that you are protesting the banks. okay, sounds good. i hate atm fees too. but wait… i also hear you’re protesting the government. okay, yeah… i don’t like politics. that’s cool. wait, now you’re also protesting the education system. alright, well, i went to a UC, i know what it’s like. and you’re also protesting starbucks and wal-mart. wait… and now you want to tax rich people. but what does “rich” really mean? and of course, you’re protesting unemployment, but instead of actively looking for a job, you’re whining about not having a job. and who exactly are you leveling your complaints at? how do you plan on bringing change? WHAT are you going to change? WHO is going to change it? anyone? anyone?
but let’s not focus on this lack of focus. there’s another big problem with occupy. i keep hearing all this stuff about peaceful protests, but too often, i haven’t seen anything resembling a peaceful protest. anytime there’s any kind of march, there’s a high probability of things get out of hand. some of your fellow protesters seem to believe that anarchy is the answer. so they start breaking windows and stealing stuff. they start flipping cars and setting fire in the middle of the streets. you would have thought the lakers just won the nba title or something. so then the police have to come in, use the gas, and start cracking skulls. and then occupiers get hurt, cry foul, and can’t understand why the police officers are being so mean.
now look, i understand that most of the protesters don’t want to get violent. many of them try to stop a lot of those people who get out of hand, and i find that very commendable. unfortunately, this is really kind of like that classic chris rock bit about the two different kinds of black people. but anytime things get angry, that’s when it gets real. and i have bad news, occupiers: any level-headed person is going to look at that situation and take the side of the group that’s not causing mass destruction. they don’t care if it’s not REALLY your fault. like chris rock said, there’s always someone who’s effing it up for everyone else.
to wrap it up, i’m not saying you’re necessarily wrong. there’s a lot of stuff in this country that’s messed up. but if you want people to take you seriously, occupiers, it’s about time you figure out what exactly you’re going to do to fix it.
October 27, 2011
tv guide
three new shows i’m currently really into.
1. the walking dead
okay, so technically this show isn’t “new” since the second season just started, but the first season was only six episodes, and i just got into the show now, so that means it’s new in my book. anyway, holy crap, this show is amazing. who knew a show about zombies would somehow be so dramatic and captivating… and also strangely realistic? this show is not like resident evil where milla jovovich rides a motorcycle through a stained glass church window, then proceeds to rev the motorcycle to drive into a zombie, which throws the two into the air, and she then shoots the motorcycle’s gas tank to blow it up and kill the zombie. by the way, that is an actual scene in resident evil 2.
instead, the walking dead tackles the issue of zombies in a real way, making the premise and the characters believable. plus, there’s enough blood and guts to keep zombie fans happy. and if nothing else, you can take notes while watching the show so you’ll know what to do in case there really is a zombie outbreak.
2. up all night
maybe i’m a bigger fan of this show than i should be. i admit that it’s not uproariously funny, and the first few episodes of the show were average to above average, but i have faith in will arnett, christina applegate, and maya rudolph. this show is really starting to come into its own. there’s also something refreshing about will arnett playing a normal person and not GOB. but if arrested development really is coming back, i would accept GOB back in a heartbeat.
3. x-factor
i thought this show would be stupid because it’s essentially american idol. well, i’m not completely wrong because, at its core, x-factor is pretty much just a reboot of idol, and that does make it at least semi-stupid. NONETHELESS, x-factor is still wildly entertaining, and you can’t refute the talent level of some of this season’s performers. i’m rooting for drew. take a listen. you’ll understand why.
October 20, 2011
life’s small victories
every now and then, you come across things that never fail to make you smile.
1. a puppy.
2. a random moment captured while playing nba 2k11.
3. one of my favorite modern family exchanges from season 1.
luke: [crying] i broke the coffee table…
phil: it’s okay!… what?
luke: i broke the glass coffee table!
phil: the one you swore you didn’t break? and then we blamed esperanza? and fired her? and she stole a turkey at thanksgiving for her family? and then got deported?
luke: yeah…
phil: damnit!
luke: i’m sorry…
phil: you will be sorry!
September 27, 2011
i’m lovin’ it
when i was a kid, my favorite board game was monopoly. at the same time, my favorite food was mcdonalds. as you can probably guess, two things happened as a result of these two joys. first, i was a fat kid. seriously. it was pretty bad. but second, i would always get super psyched for when the monopoly mcdonalds game came around. i just saw a commercial announcing this year’s game, and i’m still as excited as ever.
for those who are not aware, the monopoly mcdonalds game essentially involves you buying various mcdonalds foods that have stickers attached to them that match up to the different monopoly properties. if you collect all the properties for one color group, you win a prize. naturally, the more valuable the color group, the greater the prize. so basically, it’s a huge marketing scheme to get people to buy mcdonalds. but damnit, it works. there’s something about wanting to collect all those properties that i can’t resist. maybe it’s because the game brings me back to my childhood, and i have fond memories of those days. or maybe it’s because it’s just an excuse to go eat lots of mcdonalds.
in honor of the return of the game, here are my top-five mcdonalds menu item power rankings.
1. big mac. still the king. a taste so unique, you know right away that you’re eating one.
2. 20 piece chicken nuggets. not only are the nuggets themselves really good, but the 20 piece box is only five dollars. too good a deal to pass up.
3. filet-o-fish. this is a seriously underrated food item at mcdonalds. and it’s even better because you can trick yourself into thinking it’s healthy because it’s fish.
4. french fries. mcdonalds has the best french fries of any fast food restaurant. if you think otherwise, you are a communist.
5. sausage mcmuffin with egg. the breakfast of champions.
September 8, 2011
texas forever
it’s been a long time since my last entry, mainly because i really didn’t have anything to write about. so why should i write? why force it? and that’s the beauty of having your own blog — you can do what you want. no deadlines, no boss, no pressure. so with that in mind, if i fail to write in my blog for the next month, please forgive me. it’s only because i want to write stuff that i think is interesting. or maybe i’m just lazy.
anyway, i recently finished one of the greatest tv shows of all-time: friday night lights. five glorious seasons have come to an end, and i’ll admit, i’m a bit emotional about it. if you’ve never seen FNL, i highly encourage you to start now. i know, you’re thinking, “it’s about football… i don’t like football…. i won’t like this show…” but i promise you that football isn’t the driving force of this show; it’s the storylines, it’s how real everything feels and, most of all, it’s the characters. you will truly fall in love with them.
but now that the series is over, i’ve had some time to analyze everything and generate a few thoughts about the show.
the biggest plot line that never got truly resolved and i really can’t understand why: remember in season 4 when julie taylor goes to that gay bar with her friend and she sees one of coach taylor’s assistant coaches there? how in the world do the FNL writers not try and flesh that story out more? to me, that was one of the most shocking moments of the show that i never saw coming, but it never gets mentioned again! come on! he’s a football coach! in texas! TEXAS!! this would be the most controversial football moment since janet jackson flashed her boob at the super bowl! they should have either delved further into this story or never brought it up at all.
coach taylor has got to be the greatest second half coach ever. how many times did we see the panthers or lions get down big at halftime, only to storm back and pull out an amazing win at the end of the game? and just when you thought you had seen it all, they throw a 63-yard hail mary to win the state championship game at the end of season 5. for a coach that won two state championships, wouldn’t he have had a few more games where the team just took a knee at the end of the game to run the clock out?
coach and mrs. coach were the two most important characters of the show. rarely do you find shows that truly reflect what a good marriage looks like, but friday night lights shows that it’s possible. i’m not sure i’ve ever seen a more genuine relationship on tv than that of coach taylor and his wife. did they have fights? sure. but in the midst of them, you could tell that they still loved each other and that they would always find a way to get through it. and that’s what a real marriage looks like. it’s not always perfect, but you try your best to make it as perfect as you can. now that the show is over, i know that it will be those two that i miss the most.
to conclude, it was a great run for FNL, and it was probably about time for it to come to an end. for five seasons, the show gave us great characters and great stories. (it also gave us one of the greatest theme songs ever, courtesy of explosions in the sky.) but most of all, friday night lights gave us moments that made us smile, and moments that ripped our hearts out. and i loved all of it.
so for one last time…
clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.
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FINALLY, H* ! just kidding. Yes, and for those of you who thought maybe she forgot who I was.. I stopped into office hours...
